Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He has the fingertips of a God
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
