is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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