i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
