she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
