Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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