i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
