she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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