I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
