Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
