I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
