i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How external is "for external use only"?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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