I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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