Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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