I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
love makes seman taste better
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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