how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
