She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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