is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We got so high we made milksteak
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
