I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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