dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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