I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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