Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
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separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
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You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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