Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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