Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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