i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize