Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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