Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
