So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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