hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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