Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
