I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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