Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
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My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
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dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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