He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
