i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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