Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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