NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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