Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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