come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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