He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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