she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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