i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
someone get that fucking seahorse.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I could fuck to npr.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
