question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
