There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My feet surprised me
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