I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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