Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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