But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I will be naked everywhere
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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