Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
