I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
