it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
