like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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