your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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