Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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