Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
