This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
