Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
