I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
