I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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