I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
