she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
